I went to the doctor this morning with my usual laundry list of ailments that I save up so that I don't have to spend $6.50 that often. She told me that I should read Dinah Bradley's 'Hyperventilation Syndrome: a Handbook for Bad Breathers'. She asked me if I was stressed. I said everyone is stressed. She said 'are you tired?' I said everyone is tired. She told me I should find better ways of dealing with stress. As soon as I left I felt a million times more stressed and upset and my legs went numb and tingly. How do you deal with stress? This is an actual question. Drinking is not the answer I am looking for. I want to go for a swim but I have no money. I want to go for a run but that is a lie. I want to be alone in a nice house but I am never alone and my house isn't nice. I'm sitting in the Women's Room at university and I just ate a whole packet curry, and paneer really does not seem like the kind of food that has a long shelf life and can be eaten out of a cardboard box for $2.99. Oh my god I am a Bridget Jones-esque caricature of white Western womanhood. Where is my Eat Pray Love?