Crying isn't cute

think i am losing it a bit. i'm so sick of being constantly broke and constantly borrowing money and my brain has decided to wipe itself clean and this is the worst possible time for this to happen / i can't tell if it's a coincidence or a subconscious self-sabotage but whatever it is it's doing a good job of ruining the most important year of my life so far. i can't concentrate on anything, all i can do is sleep and be tired and complain and it's so boring / and i can see how boring and tedious and not fun i am to be around soz dudes i know crying isn't cute